I'm starting with the overweight vampire in the mirror

So lately I've been thinking a lot about making the world a better place. With the recent election and my attendance at two Paper Towns tour/Tour deNerdfighting stops, its been hard to think of anything else. And it seems that a whole bunch of things in my own life are calling for a change. And so in the hopes of one day soon moving on to bigger, more worldly matters, I am beginning to improve as much as is in my control.
This suck-overhaul has begun with improving my physical and mental health. The first step was to end my two year dependency on over-the-counter ibuprofen. For nearly 24 months I have self-medicated chronic headaches with 2400mg of ibuprofen daily. This bizarre display of a frighteningly addictive personality has given me regular stomach aches, digestive problems, and I have no doubt, pissed off my kidneys. And so one week ago I dropped the habit, only allowing myself occasional 400mg doses in order to ween my body off of the drug. At first I dealt with fevers and aches as I was going through physical withdrawals, but everyday I have woken up feeling better than I had the day before.
I am also working to cut back on my daily tobacco intake. My pack-pack & 1/2 a day habit is slowly decreasing to a half a pack-15 cigarettes a day. I would ideally like to plateau at a half a pack a day because the truth is I'm not really ready to quit yet. However in a couple years I know I will need to quit (the wedding, babies, the oncoming need to take better care of myself as I age) and I would like it to be easier to do so then than it would be right now.
Next on the to do list would be correcting my sleeping, eating, and exercise habits. I am currently averaging 8 1/2 hours of sleep every 24 hours, which is great. The problem is that those 8 1/2 hours usually occur somewhere between 4am and 6pm. Clearly this sleep schedule needs to change for a whole myriad of reasons. Sleeping like this interferes with my body's natural rhythm, affecting digestion, energy, and my immune system. Not to mention the fact that continuing to sleep when I do would prohibit me from holding a job or going to school or keeping any kind of productive lifestyle. This sort of habit can seriously mess with my brain chemistry as well, something I am very aware of seeing as I have both generalized anxiety disorder and bi-polar disorder. And so over the next week I intend to train my body to fall asleep by 3am and wake by 11:30am. This way I can enjoy full days with the the Living, improve my health, and have a routine that easily adjusts to allow for earlier mornings and more productive days. Plus it'll get my mom to stop calling me a vampire. Vampires are very cool, but I'd prefer to be labeled one because of my super-human agility or my bad ass wardrobe.
It shouldn't be surprising that I have also fallen into bad habits when it comes to food and exercise. For a long time I've been eating whatever I want, whenever I want, as much as I want. This has meant fried clam strips at 1 am, a half a bag of Doritos at 8 pm. I rarely eat healthy food at healthy times. This needs to change. It wont be easy...nobody will deny my love affair with fried seafood, cheese, or chocolate. But with the wedding in less than two years, the need to support and sustain a baby's life with my body a few years after that, and my own need to be in better shape, I'm going to stop filling my face with crap. Why I have resolved to do so right before the holidays is any ones guess.
And in terms of exercise, I wont even publicize how long its been since I have seen the inside of a gym. Lets just say that its a good thing that I plan to be working off this Christmas feast, because I certainly didn't work off last years. I'm going to start with taking walks around my neighborhood before I show off my dazzlingly lackluster work out abilities at Planet Fitness. The goal is to be a size 10 by the wedding. Wish me luck and hide the snacks. This is gonna suck, but I'll take the small suck of having to get my fat ass in gear now over the huge suck of like, heart failure in the future.
After the physical improvements come the economic and academic ones. I am currently applying for jobs and by fall 2009 I plan to re enroll in college. Aiding to these plans will be the acquiring of a driver's license, which at 21, I have yet to do. The fear of driving and of motor vehicles as a whole has sort of proven to be the last great battle between myself and my anxiety. As my mental health has improved I have found myself capable of much more than I once thought, but driving is still something I have a lot of reservations about. The truth is, anxiety or no anxiety, I pretty much suck at controlling a car. But its time to grow up and that means fighting this last crippling fear. I will be able to get to work and school with the help of Kevin and the occasional friend or family member but soon enough I will need to be self-sufficient. And so with the transition into employment and studies I will be practicing my parallel parking and looking for affordable, gas saving cars.
I have also promised myself that from here on out my occupational and academic pursuits will all be related to the selling, writing, reading, discussing, reviewing, recommending, teaching, and overall appreciation of books. I am only applying to book stores for my part-time college job, and I have settled on an English major. However, in terms of temporary employment, I may have to break this promise to myself on account of the low hiring rates seen just about everywhere these days. I might find myself sacrificing my book store dreams in pursuit of steady cash, the only thing in the world it seems I need right now more than literature.
Amongst the big goals on my plate is a garnishing of small ones. I need some new clothes, I need to finish reading Sparksflyup and watching B2.0 videos, I need to write more, I need to finally settle on the plans for my first novel, I need to email John Green, I need to clean my house, I need to do more laundry, I need to go Christmas shopping, I need to call my grandma, I need to plan my vacation to Vermont, I need to buy two friends of mine birthday presents, I need more books (I always need more books), I need to pick up face wash and razors.
Its easy to get overwhelmed by all of it, which is why I need to remind myself of the suck I'll see down the road if I don't fix these things now.
Still, focusing so much on oneself can get exhausting, even for me. That's when worldsuck comes in. Worldsuck, (the long list of things in our world that could do with a great deal of attention and improvement) in the end, is more important than me fitting into my wedding dress. And so added to my to-do list have been goals like reducing the amount of water and electricity I use, buying recycled and organic goods, reducing the amount of garbage I create, and finding ways to contribute to organizations the help decrease worldsuck like Save the Children and First Book. Its time for me and everyone else to start living with conscientiousness when it comes to our planet, our country, our children, our rights. For me this means living in ways that help conserve our energy and resources, donating money to important charities, and informing others about issues that they can help. I want to be a better nerdfighter, and I want to be a better person. And I know that there a plenty little and big things I can do to make sure that happens.
I really do believe that in order to make the world a better place you have to start at home, so that is what I will do. I'm becoming a grown up and with that comes grown up responsibilities. So ya know, I think its about time I learn to drive.